OH MY! PRAISE GOD FORREAL! this makes me love Him and His son - for showing how merciful and loving He is, for trying to give us another chance. for trying to get closer to us and providing His precious blood to be even closer to us, so that we can be lead back to Him. For He will always be on our side.

Sharing with you today;s daily reflection from the Living Faith. "Rejoice, O hearts that seek the Lord!" -- Psalms 105:3.

"If we seek the Lord from the heart in earnest, we will find him. If we speak to him from the depth of our being, with the certainty that there is nothing more important to us than him - we will find him. We will discover that we have aleady been found by Him." "If we seek the Lord in our hearts, becoming attentive to Him as He dwells at the center of our being by His infinite grace, we will find Him. We will enter into the life He created for us - a relationship of love with the Father, Son and the Spirit." -- Kevin Perotta

Saturday, October 17, 2009 - Feast Day of St. Ignatius of Antioch

1st Reading: Romans 4:13, 16-18 / Gospel: Luke 12: 8-12

so im at a point where im not completely worried about the future and what i need to prepare for, in terms with career life in the nursing field or where god will take me. one of the greatest gifts that god has blessed me (that is still in the process of being refined) is the amount of trust and faith i have on Him. i mean of course there are times that i give into doubt and complacency, but that is all a part of processing of choosing to believe or not. choosing to lift up all your sufferings and making the change in yourself by starting on those actions, with the help of the holy spirit. choosing to face your fear because you chose Christ. listening to today's readings and gospel and even father colin's homily this early saturday morning mass (which i had a hard time getting up because my mom wanted me to go with her and trying to stay in bed but decided to get up and be on time for 8:45am mass) made me reflect on where i am so far in life. where god, my faith, my relationship with Him and the blessed mother are in my life. lately i've been telling alot of people that i've gotten a chance to talk to about how this semester is really hard and that i'm trying to do well. but i know in my heart, that i can do so much more and a reason why i'm lagging in this promise: distractions. if only there was a way i can completely devote my time in the internet that would at the same time glorify god (ie, facebook, youtube) but technically no. i really need to do something other than notice and recognize it, but to accomplish things on what i/god has asked me to do. it's more than knowing, but to start doing things. i believe that my heart can change when i myself change and let god and embodying christ to change me. and it completely starts when you take that one footprint step on the ground. that by taking that single step is better than not taking any step. i pray for God's wisdom and grace to move me in the journey that i'm still walking with Him, to let it be the same feeling that i had the first time i encountered His actual, real presence. by not only feeling Him, but humbly see God's glorious eyes to captivate me in a way that i've never imagined. may God be praised.

also, praise God for allowing me to be patient and prayerful by standing outside the women's clinic in hackensack to proclaim about the truth of pro-life. it shows how much we small difference we can make to simply pray the rosary and pray for others. although witnessing a hispanic girl crying alongside with possibly her boyfriend, i am not quite sure what happened but i truly hope and pray that their decisions were not to be made again. i pray for God's unfailing love and mercy on them.

"We have no material evidence for these promises, but we have our faith that gives us the intuition that God's promises are true. Faith is the gift of God that brings us hope and joy. Without faith, we cannot find the meaning in our lives that God wants us to have."

-- Father Kenneth E. Grabner

The Strangeness of His Faithfulness (see Luke 18:1-8 ). "When the Son of Man comes, will He really find faith on the earth?" ( Luke 18:8 ). Will He find the kind of faith that counts on Him in spite of the confusion? Stand firm in faith, believing that what Jesus said is true, although in the meantime you do not understand what God is doing. He has bigger issues at stake than the particular things you are asking of Him right now.

-- My Utmost for His Highest

one thing that definitely resonates in my heart about what i'm learning is reevaluating yourself everytime you do something wrong and always perservering to be faithful and live out Christ. God is still good -- how even though I am being challenged even more, where there have been so many circumstances that are going on in my life, I've learned to completely not let it get to me. learning to not my reactions and responses get to me and control such ill-mannered feelings, to remind me of what God has given me or how present He still is, in the midst of troubles and trials. going to the mass of the holy spirit at school to welcome the school year, i found it fascinating when the deacon gave a homily about choices and something similar in particular in doing well/doing good. when he talked about how we ask God for many things and it's up to a point where we don't understand, a quote that I remembered from him was "because we take it too literal for us to understand Him." i tried as possible to remember the whole notion on what he said but that stuck in my head like gum rubbed into cement. I question myself if i take things close to heart or if I overthink things (HAHA studying too much for a 5 question quiz for med-surge) that I get side-tracked on the real problem. when God called me to detach myself, i didn't know how much detaching was involved with the things that I know, the things that I feel secure -- that maybe some of these things have surfaced into being complacent. i realize that God is always gonna call me to be uncomfortable even in moments where serving Him is great, i also have to be more responsible and slightly think ahead (not completely in the future - but somewhat in future present sense) and continue to keep my heart open not only to Him or the people that He has given me, but be open to this frail environment He has placed me in. to always go to Him seeking to be constant with Him. CONSTANT -- like bridget hermano's song.

"teach me to trust in the things I can't see"

so last week (specifically monday and tuesday) - ive been having dreams or references about the monstrance or the sacred tabernacle. only a few know what i truly said which is so embarrasing but it was out of mere humor and deciphering what my dream meant. i kept pondering on what it meant to dream about christ and what compelled me to Him, for me to dream about His sacred body, the eucharist. and then if it was as if god was slowly telling me something (not giving me the full complete answer) but going to daily mass on friday made my heart melt.

on july 19, 2009 - it was the feast of sacred heart of jesus. the priest that gave the homily i believe was a travelling priest that wasn't the regular priest of OLMC but he was sharing about at such a young age, he was called to pray to the sacred heart. as a kid growing up in a catholic school, there was another priest that was asking if anyone wanted to be a priest or something like that. i probably killed that story since i kinda stink at telling stories but one thing this indian priest mentioned about the sacred heart of jesus is the promises of having a complete devotion to Christ's sacred heart and what the person entails of receiving Him. one of the things he said that definitely caught my attention was for a person to "have complete love of the holy eucharist." it's been so weird because lately i've been longing to really do god's will as best as possible and have fallen deep with the love of receiving the body and blood of Christ. and maybe this is something that Christ is telling me to do - to keep His heart close to mine, for He knows what is in my heart. I always say that everytime during prayer of pleading that throughout all the promises, wants, needs in my life, I know that Christ sees that and some maybe insufficient enought to surpass what He wants from me, but there are other parts in my heart that are for Him. this is something that I need to challenge myself to do if I want to have that complete utter devotion to Him - is by starting to pray over His heart so that it may be in accordance to what He wants out of my heart. maybe it's time for me to have that consistent prayer of divine mercy - i love it so much that sometimes I even forget to pray that everyday. maybe this is something Christ is telling me - that in order to fully experience what eucharist is, I need to pray for that oneness not only through His body but His heart.

if you think about it (and besides the whole "multiple organs are connected where one cannot survive without the other" theory), the heart allows blood to flow all over the body through arteries, small capillaries and travels back through the veins. this special organ is essentially key to provide oxygen inside the body and keep moving. it's similar through how Christ works - I need to make sure my heart is constantly clean from any impediments that linger in order for Christ to run through my blood vessels or something might get stuck that will prevent me from experiencing His love.

"You have been there for me, even when I've broken Your heart."

"Lead me Lord, take my life, that You can be in control."

"Lifting up his eyes to heaven, Jesus prayed, saying:
'Holy Father, keep them in your name
that you have given me,
so that they may be one just as we are one.
When I was with them I protected them in your name that you gave me,
and I guarded them, and none of them was lost
except the son of destruction,
in order that the Scripture might be fulfilled.
But now I am coming to you.
I speak this in the world
so that they may share my joy completely.
I gave them your word, and the world hated them,
because they do not belong to the world
any more than I belong to the world.
I do not ask that you take them out of the world
but that you keep them from the Evil One.
They do not belong to the world
any more than I belong to the world.
Consecrate them in the truth.
Your word is truth.
As you sent me into the world,
so I sent them into the world.
And I consecrate myself for them,
so that they also may be consecrated in truth.'"

"Before you speak, it is necessary for you to listen, for God speaks in the silence of the heart." - Mother Teresa

Let us pray for the real truth that we may find it in Christ and Christ alone. Let's keep LOVE going even if it is hard to give to those that reject any form.